Tag: Impulsivity in Children

Teaser: If you’ve ever heard the sound of breaking glass followed by, “I didn’t mean to!”, this one’s for you. From toppled plants to shattered vases, impulsiveness in children is part of family life—especially with kids who move fast and think later. Here’s what’s really going on in those moments (and how to handle them with humor, patience, and maybe fewer breakables).

There was a stretch of years when I was convinced my boys had radar for anything fragile.

They knew they weren’t supposed to throw balls in the house. We had discussed this. Multiple times. Yet somehow, that rule evaporated the minute a ball appeared. A Nerf football would sail across the living room, knocking over a glass of milk. A wiffle ball would take out a plant. Once, a tennis ball ricocheted off a picture frame like a well-aimed trick shot.

And then came the vase incident.

It wasn’t even a valuable vase—until it shattered. Suddenly it was emotionally priceless. The sound of breaking glass froze everyone in place. Eyes wide. No one breathed. And then, in unison:
“I didn’t mean to!”

They needed to be outside.

And I needed fewer breakables.

The Impulsive Brain at Work

If you’re raising a child with ADHD (or, let’s be honest, any active child with a pulse), you’ve probably lived a version of this story.

Impulsivity isn’t disobedience—it’s neurology. The part of the brain that controls impulse and inhibition is still under construction for years, and for children with ADHD, that “under construction” sign tends to stay up a little longer.

That means your child may:

• Speak before thinking
  
• Act before assessing
  
• Leap before looking (literally or figuratively)
  

It’s not because they don’t know better—it’s because in the moment, knowing and doing are two entirely different things.

When Impulsivity Moves Into Learning

Impulsivity doesn’t stop at broken vases. It shows up at the kitchen table, too:

• Rushing through homework just to be done
  
• Guessing at a reading word instead of decoding it
  
• Skipping directions because “I got it, Mom!”
  

The same quick energy that drives creativity can also derail concentration. For children with ADHD, that drive to “just do it” can be both a superpower and a stumbling block.

How to Design for Fewer (Metaphorical) Vases

Parents can’t bubble-wrap the world, but we can make small changes that help impulsivity work for our children instead of against them.

Try these:

• Pause before play. Practice short moments of “think time” before responding or moving on.
  
• Create structure. Predictable routines anchor the day and reduce impulsive detours.
  
• Give feedback fast—but gently. Catch the moment, name it, and move on without shame.
  
• Model calm. Children borrow our tone when theirs runs off the rails.
  
• And remember: humor helps. A lot. Sometimes all you can do is sweep up the vase, smile, and add “impulse management” to tomorrow’s to-do list.

Final Thought

Impulsivity is not the enemy—it’s part of growing up and wiring up. The trick is to design an environment that channels all that energy into learning, problem-solving, and yes, play… preferably outside.

Because the truth is: every family has a vase story. Some of us just have more than one.